Unfair

Life today just feels so unfair to me..... Collin is a little boy from my Aug 02 boards and is barely hanging on due to dealing with a nasty disease called NMO or Devic's disease.

Today I got the privelage to argue with my 8yr old about wetting his hair down before running out the door to the bus. Today Lisa gets to argue with herself over what is the right thing to do for her little boy.

Today I had the privelage of getting frustrated with my 5yr old for not walking to the gate and getting in the yard as quickly as I wanted him to. Today the thought of Collin walking anywhere quickly is far from Lisa's mind.

Today I am blessed that I get to clean out the shower where my 8yr old woke up in the middle of the night and went pee rather then the toilet because he couldn't hold it anymore. Lisa hasn't had the privelage of her 8yr old peeing on his own in a very long time. Today Collin is not even making urine.

Today I drove past my 8yr olds elementary school and started bawling as I saw all of the little kids running around playing outside in the cold wet weather. How unfair is it that they get to play and have fun while sweet Collin is barely hanging on? How lucky am I that I can drive past that school and know my 8yr old is there learning, playing and living his life?!?

Today I looked at my 5yr old as he babbled on and on and on and begged me to turn up Justin Bieber so he could hear it better in the van and tried to imagine what life would be like if tomorrow morning he woke up blind and we started down the path that Lisa, Collin and their family have gone down? How does she stay so strong? The mere thought of what they have endured brings me to my knees and makes me want to vomit. I realize that Kailer is almost exactly the same age as Collin was when this all started. I look at my 5yr old and think of how much life he still has to LIVE and cannot fathom such a life changing thing at such a young age.

Today I got to win the battle against my 5yr old about whether he would wear his patch for his 2hours. Today Lisa just wishes she could see her sons eyes....

Today I get to hold my baby and have her laugh at my silly faces and hold her arms up to Mommy to pick her up and put her on my lap. Today Lisa gets to hold her sons hand and pray for things to turn out the way they are meant to turn out.

Today I have control over so many things in my life and I have the control to make things happy sad grumpy mad cheerful etc.... Today Lisa has lost almost all of her control in her life and it's beyond unfair.

Today I am blessed to worry about stocking stuffers and the fact that Christmas is sneaking upon me so fast. Today Lisa will worry whether or not her son will see tomorrow, let alone Christmas which seems so far away in comparison with tomorrow....

Today I am thankful for all I have, yet so sad and heartsick for all that Lisa has to endure right now.