Well I will make this short and sweet but felt like after almost 3mo it was time for a quick update!
Christmas was great, we spent it in Hermiston with our family and it turned out great. It was a tight year but the boys seemed to get everything they "needed" so badly and were happy with Santa's small gifts.
The new year has been a bit rocky however :( Since Christmas my Daddy has not been feeling so well and I have been concerned with his health. His blood pressure is up an down and all around and he's having some anxiety and stress issues as well. No one seems to know exactly what his problem is but I sure hope it can be fixed and soon!! I cannot imagine feeling like he's been feeling for so long and not just losing my mind! January was a rough month as Tammy's Mom Caroline passed away after her long battle with cancer and brain tumors. I am very thankful that we were able to spend Christmas with her and hope that she is at peace and comfortable now. Two days before Caroline's funeral I got sick at work and had to leave immediately (Jan 30th). I went to the ER and was told I was probably coming down with something and also found out my thyroid levels were high which meant I needed to up my meds and I was not pregnant which relieved Steven greatly LOL That day started the next 3 weeks of pure hell. I had terrible panic attacks and anxiety and these strange spells kept coming out of nowhere. I ended up leaving work early once again and then took 2 full weeks off where I was not able to make it into work. Not only could I barely function to change diapers and make lunch but my eyes wouldn't focus correctly, I felt like I was in a fog, my head felt heavy with small headaches, I rushed myself to the ER again but never actually went in since the attack subsided before I got there. I really feel like I am going insane. Slowly the attacks seem to be getting better after a few weeks of being on new doses of thyroid meds and anxiety meds along with Xanax for the bad attacks.
Unfortunately last night really upset me :( I had SIX wonderful days!!!!!!! I was feeling like a million bucks and started some spring cleaning and felt invincible... Last night we were at Chris and Tim's having dinner and out of nowhere around 8pm I had one of those spells where I feel like I can't concentrate, can't figure out what I"m trying to say and my body gets hot and tingly. I tried to keep myself calm so as to not go into a full blown panic attack and feel I did fairly well. When I got home I did take a Xanax and fell asleep on the couch which is my new 2nd home since getting sick. This morning I seem to be doing better, and am thankful I can still look at a computer monitor without going all fuzzy like I was before, but am now worried that this could happen to me again out of nowhere, especially since I committed myself to working next Tues and don't want to back out on them again! I figure as long as this doesn't happen to me again anytime soon I'll just talk to the Dr about it when I go in for my next blood draw which is due in a week or so. If it does happen I will be heading back in sooner as I can't keep living like this!!!!!
My boys are growing like weeds and I love them to pieces. Kai is turning into a "kid" and loves playing with his brothers. He walks around asking Kaeden if he wants to fight and they wrestle like two big kids. They love to watch TV and computer together and sing and dance. They also fight like yo uwouldn't believe 1/2 the time, but what siblings don't? lol I took them last Saturday for haircuts and Kai's crazy afro turned into a somewhat tamer afro ;) He looks so grown up and big when it's wet and combed nicely... where did my baby go? Steven and I have talked about the possibility of another baby. I am really thinking I want one more about 70% of the time and after we figure out what in the heck is going on with me we might just pop the IUD out and see what God has in store for us. Then again the 30% of doubt might get the best of me and we might just stay content with our happy family of 4. At this point I wouldn't be trying for a girl anymore.... I love my boys and really feel with 95% certainty that I would be ecstatic to have 3 boys. There's just something about knowing all of my "boys" are there for me the Mommy .. the one and only girl. However if I hope hard enough for a boy I might end up with that girl I"ve always thought I wanted LOL And if that were to happen I'd be over the moon as well... we'd just have to spend more money on a girl then a boy since I already have all kinds of clothes, shoes etc for another boy an would be starting from scratch on a girl! lol This is all just talk and maybe's at this point, but it sure felt good to type my feelings out. I'm just shocked that Steven might be willing to go for it again. I 'd really like to get Kaeden in his own room much more full time before another baby were to arrive however....
Well the boys are tearing my bedroom to pieces and it's almost naptime for Kai so I should wrap this up. I will try to get back here soon with updates and some new pics. With the way I've been feeling I don't have a whole lot of new pics to share.
