My LIfe Dilemna as posted on the Aug 02 playgroup

So I'm at that point in my life that felt SO far away a couple yrs ago when I was pg with Kai and now it is looming over me and quickly coming at me.... If we are going to have another child I want to do it within the next year (get pg, not have the kid LOL) Steven doesnt' really want anymore, but I am still on the fence if I want one more or not. I've always wanted lots of kids and for some reason I don't quite feel complete at 2, but the thought of 3 is very overwhelming and stressful to me. Many people say going from 1 to 2 is the hardest, but for me going from 2 to 3 seems harder! with 2 we both can take one and control it, with 3 there will always be the "odd man out". Our other problem is although we have a minivan and can fit our kids into it easily, when we have the girls every other weekend, adding another baby to the mix means really making a squish in the back seat with the 3 older kids. Also only have a lapbelt in the middle and not sure what we'd do to put them all in there? Buying a new vehicle is not an option at this time or in the near future so we'd have to make our van work. I have an appt on the 5th and am going to talk to the Dr about removing my IUD and what is involved etc. part of me wants it out and then let nature take it's course, the other part says I should wait and NOT get it out until Kai is at least 2yrs old which gives me another 5mo to debate. Going to the store with 2 is difficult, 3 seems impossible! I know once the baby was here we would just figure it all out, but I'm such a planner and so terrified that 3 will disrupt our family and routine...... yet the thought of not having that 3rd child makes me so sad and almost sick to my stomach (then again I get sick to my stomach thinking about having a 3rd lol) My boys both LOVE babies and I have no doubt that they would welcome another child without jealousy issues etc which would be awesome... But I don't want my children to ever feel "cheated" because I chose to have too many kids... And when we have the girls every other weekend WOW it's gonna be a housefull and a half! sigh I know this has been asked before, and I know ultimately it's a personal decision that only Steven and I can make. I just wish I KNEW like Steven seems to know that I don't want anymore.... But I don't know that. I know I WANT one more, but I don't know if having one more would be a good move for our family. Anyway just want some thoughts and advice and support from all of you wonderful ladies. Thanks!